When I was a ten year old, on a Saturday, a billboard of the English film “Ape & Super Ape” was placed near the shrine hall of our school. There was a rumour that a special screening was arranged for the students that Sunday evening and the entire class discussed the film or rather the special show. The teacher too made an announcement that there was going to be a free film show and all were welcome. Though not a film buff, I was eager to watch the film with my friends. My school was little far away from home and not willing to let me go alone to school on a holiday, my dad too accompanied me. The crowd gathered there were not my school mates. Most of them were old. I failed to see the excitement of watching a children’s film in their eyes. A screen was erected in the playground and with the help of a projector, the film was screened. To my disappointment, it was not “Ape & Super Ape” but a documentary on Satyasai Baba of Putaparthi.
I and my dad sat on the ground with all the other guests and watched the film. As Baba appeared on the screen, the audience became hysteric. While some clasped their hands, some patted their cheeks with great reverence and many screamed “Sairam”. All this appeared very weird to me. I was not till then exposed to such a mass hysteria. The Baba on the screen walked through the crowds, produced vibhuti (holy ash) from thin air, blessed his devotees and gave a lecture. As the people around me watching all this got excited, I was very disappointed and irritated. Disappointed -because I went there to watch another film and irritated - with the reactions of the people. I wanted to leave immediately, but my father, did not want to distract others. During the first interval, we left the place. Though I don’t remember the exact date, it was a milestone in my life. That day, I realized, I was agnostic and that I cannot enjoy religious activities. I cannot attribute just this event to my orientation. It is also because of the kind of exposure I got in my formative years. Though both my parents were strict disciplinarians, they were also democratic. Ideologies were never imposed and they encouraged us to read a lot, which resulted in we (I & my siblings) becoming rational and freethinkers. However, my mother was (still is) worried about my radical views and was afraid that I would end up hurting my relatives and friends, most of them being ardent believers, with my logical arguments and ensured that, I did not get into any serious discussions with any of them.
But, there was always an urge; an urge to argue; a desire to make fun; a desire to prove a point. The desire was suppressed for a very long time. When I started working, I got my first opportunity to freely express my thoughts. I had some very friendly colleagues who were also great believers and followers of several Godmen, including Satyasai Baba. One day while at work, a colleague shared the experience of his cousin, who was then serving as a surgeon at the hospital at Putaparthi. The surgeon in reference happened to be in the team of Doctors who performed the first surgery at that hospital. When the first patient was wheeled into the operation theatre, Baba entered and blessed the patient. The patient who was awake when Baba entered closed his eyes as Baba left the room and so the doctors were in a dilemma. They did not know whether anesthesia had to be administered to the patient or not and so a doctor took a needle and pricked the patient. Baba returned and said “Never test God” and walked out. My other colleagues, almost all of them post graduates and graduates of Science, were very excited. Though I got very angry, without losing my cool, I questioned, “if Baba is capable of administering anesthesia with a hand gesture, why doesn’t he heal all the patients himself and why should he build a hospital and employ qualified doctors? Are the doctors working at that hospital so dumb?” My colleagues, who till then assumed that I was a religious person, got a shock of their lives. Another colleague, who thought who can influence me, narrated his experience. He once went on a pilgrimage to Putaparthi impromptu and reached the place late in the night. He had trouble in getting an accommodation at the Ashram and his wife suggested that they return. He then prayed to Baba and expressed his strong desire to have a Darshan the next day. As he opened his eyes, he suddenly remembered that an ex-colleague of his was holding a key position in Prasanti Nilayam and approached him. His ex-colleague not only helped him with the stay arrangements, but also facilitated a close Darshan of Baba the next day. When my colleague stated that this was a miracle, I attacked him stating that it was a clear case of prejudice and another form of corruption. My best friend Murali, who was then my colleague started to narrate his experience, but before he started, he made me promise that I wouldn’t ridicule him. I kept my promise by remaining silent after listening to his experience, but my sarcastic smile compensated for my silence. My colleagues, who loved me as much as they loved Satyasai Baba, hesitated to discuss religion in my presence. One of them even lent me the book Begone Godmen by Abraham Kovoor. After reading the book, I argued more vigorously.
Over a period of time, my attitude towards religion got neutralized. I now don’t get excited in arguing or in proving something. After Satyasai Baba’s death, much was written and spoken about him, while some praised, some criticized. I still don’t consider him as an Avtaar. He was just another human being. A brilliant human being, who was a cut above the rest and much ahead of his times. He was very much aware of his strengths and weaknesses. Though a school dropout, he knew the principles of management very well. He planned, organized, communicated and developed himself into a brand – Brand Baba. His charisma and aura attracted millions of people across the globe and his nondescript village became an important destination on the world map. I don’t consider the tricks he played to attract people as miracles. But his social work is certainly remarkable. He built several hospitals and institutes. Telugu-Ganga Project did not see the light for more than two decades and Chennaiites had to wait for a long time to get drinking water, despite Chief Ministers of both Andhra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu holding several rounds of talks and lot of money getting exchanged between the States. It was finally completed after Satyasai Baba took up the project.
When Sai Baba died, several Telugu TV channels telecast his videos and in one of the videos shown, he was paraded in a wheel chair in an auditorium where his devotees waited for his Darshan. He looked so weak, pathetic and disillusioned and I felt very sad for him. Life is nothing but a trap for many, including him. When he died, there was an immediate rift between his trustees and also between devotees. The fights are still on.
(I planned to publish this blog on April 24th in sync with the first anniversary of the day Sai Baba was declared dead in 2011. I was busy and hence could not post it as planned.)
I and my dad sat on the ground with all the other guests and watched the film. As Baba appeared on the screen, the audience became hysteric. While some clasped their hands, some patted their cheeks with great reverence and many screamed “Sairam”. All this appeared very weird to me. I was not till then exposed to such a mass hysteria. The Baba on the screen walked through the crowds, produced vibhuti (holy ash) from thin air, blessed his devotees and gave a lecture. As the people around me watching all this got excited, I was very disappointed and irritated. Disappointed -because I went there to watch another film and irritated - with the reactions of the people. I wanted to leave immediately, but my father, did not want to distract others. During the first interval, we left the place. Though I don’t remember the exact date, it was a milestone in my life. That day, I realized, I was agnostic and that I cannot enjoy religious activities. I cannot attribute just this event to my orientation. It is also because of the kind of exposure I got in my formative years. Though both my parents were strict disciplinarians, they were also democratic. Ideologies were never imposed and they encouraged us to read a lot, which resulted in we (I & my siblings) becoming rational and freethinkers. However, my mother was (still is) worried about my radical views and was afraid that I would end up hurting my relatives and friends, most of them being ardent believers, with my logical arguments and ensured that, I did not get into any serious discussions with any of them.
But, there was always an urge; an urge to argue; a desire to make fun; a desire to prove a point. The desire was suppressed for a very long time. When I started working, I got my first opportunity to freely express my thoughts. I had some very friendly colleagues who were also great believers and followers of several Godmen, including Satyasai Baba. One day while at work, a colleague shared the experience of his cousin, who was then serving as a surgeon at the hospital at Putaparthi. The surgeon in reference happened to be in the team of Doctors who performed the first surgery at that hospital. When the first patient was wheeled into the operation theatre, Baba entered and blessed the patient. The patient who was awake when Baba entered closed his eyes as Baba left the room and so the doctors were in a dilemma. They did not know whether anesthesia had to be administered to the patient or not and so a doctor took a needle and pricked the patient. Baba returned and said “Never test God” and walked out. My other colleagues, almost all of them post graduates and graduates of Science, were very excited. Though I got very angry, without losing my cool, I questioned, “if Baba is capable of administering anesthesia with a hand gesture, why doesn’t he heal all the patients himself and why should he build a hospital and employ qualified doctors? Are the doctors working at that hospital so dumb?” My colleagues, who till then assumed that I was a religious person, got a shock of their lives. Another colleague, who thought who can influence me, narrated his experience. He once went on a pilgrimage to Putaparthi impromptu and reached the place late in the night. He had trouble in getting an accommodation at the Ashram and his wife suggested that they return. He then prayed to Baba and expressed his strong desire to have a Darshan the next day. As he opened his eyes, he suddenly remembered that an ex-colleague of his was holding a key position in Prasanti Nilayam and approached him. His ex-colleague not only helped him with the stay arrangements, but also facilitated a close Darshan of Baba the next day. When my colleague stated that this was a miracle, I attacked him stating that it was a clear case of prejudice and another form of corruption. My best friend Murali, who was then my colleague started to narrate his experience, but before he started, he made me promise that I wouldn’t ridicule him. I kept my promise by remaining silent after listening to his experience, but my sarcastic smile compensated for my silence. My colleagues, who loved me as much as they loved Satyasai Baba, hesitated to discuss religion in my presence. One of them even lent me the book Begone Godmen by Abraham Kovoor. After reading the book, I argued more vigorously.
Over a period of time, my attitude towards religion got neutralized. I now don’t get excited in arguing or in proving something. After Satyasai Baba’s death, much was written and spoken about him, while some praised, some criticized. I still don’t consider him as an Avtaar. He was just another human being. A brilliant human being, who was a cut above the rest and much ahead of his times. He was very much aware of his strengths and weaknesses. Though a school dropout, he knew the principles of management very well. He planned, organized, communicated and developed himself into a brand – Brand Baba. His charisma and aura attracted millions of people across the globe and his nondescript village became an important destination on the world map. I don’t consider the tricks he played to attract people as miracles. But his social work is certainly remarkable. He built several hospitals and institutes. Telugu-Ganga Project did not see the light for more than two decades and Chennaiites had to wait for a long time to get drinking water, despite Chief Ministers of both Andhra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu holding several rounds of talks and lot of money getting exchanged between the States. It was finally completed after Satyasai Baba took up the project.
When Sai Baba died, several Telugu TV channels telecast his videos and in one of the videos shown, he was paraded in a wheel chair in an auditorium where his devotees waited for his Darshan. He looked so weak, pathetic and disillusioned and I felt very sad for him. Life is nothing but a trap for many, including him. When he died, there was an immediate rift between his trustees and also between devotees. The fights are still on.
(I planned to publish this blog on April 24th in sync with the first anniversary of the day Sai Baba was declared dead in 2011. I was busy and hence could not post it as planned.)
