Recently an acquaintance of
mine posted her photo on a social networking site. Clad in trendy western outfits with matching
accessories, conditioned and straightened hair, made up face and manicured
nails, she looked more a model/actress than a student. What I found more
surprising was her father proudly sharing her picture. There is nothing wrong
in a student looking good or posing for a photo or posting a photo or her
father sharing the photo. What was
surprising to me was, I have known the father as a different person. He was a very orthodox, conservative and
highly opinionated person. He imposed a lot of restrictions on his sisters and
wife and they were never allowed to wear salwars and nighties even at
home. I have not met him in the recent
past and I wonder how his daughter has managed to be so trendy and how much his
attitude has changed.
Thinking about this, I am
reminded of what Ammamma garu said some three decades ago. Ammamma garu was my neighbour’s mother. She
lived in a distant town and once in a while visited her daughter in
Madras. Every time she visited them, she
also visited our house and spent some time with us. Water from our well was very hard and not
suitable for drinking and cooking. We did not have corporation water connection
and so my parents fetched water from a friend’s house, which was a few houses
away from ours. It was a difficult
exercise. Seeing the plight, Ammamma garu
suggested we appoint a maid to fetch water for us. Money certainly was a problem for us, but more
than that, my mother’s conservative upbringing did not allow her to accept the
suggestion. Though Ammamma garu also
belonged to our community, her family was little modern and cosmopolitan than
ours. My mother was very proud of her
orthodoxy and said she would struggle as long as she can. Ammamma garu said “change is inevitable. Everyone has to change. Some change a little early and some change a
little later.” Not just our family, those who were more
orthodox also, now buy bottled water for consumption.
How true! Nothing is constant.
We are still evolving. Change is inevitable.
Everyone has to change. Some
change a little early and some change a little later. There is no need for
anyone to be proud about themselves or be judgemental about anyone else.
I am so impressed and
convinced with Ammamma garu’s statement, I have been quoting to my friends
whenever there is a discussion on change resistance. Recently, my friend told
me that she quoted this to her mother-in-law. The statement has now become
mine.
