I
wrote this blog a few months ago. I was
little skeptical about posting this. I shared the draft with my close friends
and sought opinion. Surprisingly, while my male friends advised me against it,
my female friends encouraged me to go ahead.
My perception about love,
courtship and marriage are all idealistic.
I observe couples and try to understand their love and loyalty for each
other.
Several years ago, a
colleague rushed to my table immediately after she entered office in the
morning and sought my permission to use the phone. I had a direct dialing facility whereas she
had to seek the operator’s assistance.
She picked up the phone and
asked the person on the other end “Are you fine? I am so scared. Please don’t ask me any
questions. I can’t explain. Just
listen. Don’t drive to your office. Please hire an auto. Am I clear?
Call me after you reach.”
As she spoke, tears rolled
down her cheeks. Wiping tears, she thanked me.
Looking at her anxiety, I asked “All is well?” In an emotional tone she
replied; “The flowers from my plait fell down as I was on my way to office and
soon after I reached, my bangle broke and I consider these bad omens. I am very sentimental about these things and
I foresee a danger, so I have cautioned my husband.” she replied. I was very surprised with her sentiment. Being single, I could not comprehend her
feelings. I had never seen my mother, sisters-in-law or sister, expressing such
sentiments at home. This episode
reminded me of a discussion I had with a prospective groom years before. He was of the opinion that a working woman
can never be a faithful and a committed wife.
I was very offended by his statement and argued with him that people
carry their values wherever they go. To
be honest, looking at my colleague’s anxiety and concern, I was very happy that
Sati Savitri kind of women still
existed.
Over a period of time, this
colleague in reference flirted with every Tom, Dick and Harry. There was also a rumour about a serious
affair. It was very shocking to me as I had formed a different opinion about
her based on the telephonic conversation she had with her husband and also I
thought only men philander.
During all these years of my
professional life in different organizations across industries, in my social circle
and neighbourhood, I have met several Savita
Bhabhies disguised as Sati Savitris.
There is something common in all these women.
They are all very expressive of their love for their husbands. They never complain about the husbands in
public. They wear all religious symbols
like Sindhoor, kumkum, mangalsutra, rings and toe-rings. They fast for their families, particularly
the husbands, but simultaneously get involved with someone else and have fun. I
am really curious as to how they manage things so well; their men, emotions and
guilt pangs if any. Surprisingly, not
many discuss about these kinds of affairs.
What two consenting adults
do with their lives is nobody’s business including me. I am just thinking aloud.
Is love temporal? Or can it
happen several times or it’s just a concept like many other things?
