LOVE AUR DHOKA

I wrote this blog a few months ago.  I was little skeptical about posting this. I shared the draft with my close friends and sought opinion. Surprisingly, while my male friends advised me against it, my female friends encouraged me to go ahead.

My perception about love, courtship and marriage are all idealistic.  I observe couples and try to understand their love and loyalty for each other.

Several years ago, a colleague rushed to my table immediately after she entered office in the morning and sought my permission to use the phone.  I had a direct dialing facility whereas she had to seek the operator’s assistance. 

She picked up the phone and asked the person on the other end “Are you fine?  I am so scared. Please don’t ask me any questions.  I can’t explain. Just listen.  Don’t drive to your office.  Please hire an auto.  Am I clear?  Call me after you reach.”

As she spoke, tears rolled down her cheeks. Wiping tears, she thanked me.  Looking at her anxiety, I asked “All is well?” In an emotional tone she replied; “The flowers from my plait fell down as I was on my way to office and soon after I reached, my bangle broke and I consider these bad omens.  I am very sentimental about these things and I foresee a danger, so I have cautioned my husband.” she replied.  I was very surprised with her sentiment.  Being single, I could not comprehend her feelings. I had never seen my mother, sisters-in-law or sister, expressing such sentiments at home.  This episode reminded me of a discussion I had with a prospective groom years before.  He was of the opinion that a working woman can never be a faithful and a committed wife.  I was very offended by his statement and argued with him that people carry their values wherever they go.  To be honest, looking at my colleague’s anxiety and concern, I was very happy that Sati Savitri kind of women still existed.

Over a period of time, this colleague in reference flirted with every Tom, Dick and Harry.  There was also a rumour about a serious affair. It was very shocking to me as I had formed a different opinion about her based on the telephonic conversation she had with her husband and also I thought only men philander.

During all these years of my professional life in different organizations across industries, in my social circle and neighbourhood, I have met several Savita Bhabhies disguised as Sati Savitris. There is something common in all these women.  They are all very expressive of their love for their husbands.  They never complain about the husbands in public.  They wear all religious symbols like Sindhoor, kumkum, mangalsutra, rings and toe-rings.  They fast for their families, particularly the husbands, but simultaneously get involved with someone else and have fun. I am really curious as to how they manage things so well; their men, emotions and guilt pangs if any.  Surprisingly, not many discuss about these kinds of affairs.

What two consenting adults do with their lives is nobody’s business including me.  I am just thinking aloud.  

Is love temporal? Or can it happen several times or it’s just a concept like many other things?