CORONA AND THE RETURN OF ORTHODOXY

I was in LKG when this happened.  I went to school in a rickshaw with my brother, two years my senior, along with a few other kids from our colony.  One evening, as we got down from the rickshaw, my mother ordered me and my brother to walk to the well, which was in one corner of our compound, away from our house.  She told us to keep away the books, notebooks, slate and other stationeries and carry the lunch bag with us.  My mother then drew buckets of cold water from the well and poured over us and the lunch boxes. The reason, there was a bereavement in the family of one of the kids who travelled with us in the rickshaw.  For the next ten days, after school, we soaked our clothes, had a bath and then entered home. 

Till date, all of us at home follow this religiously, whenever we attend funerals or visit someone for a condolence or even when we accidentally encounter someone bereaving.  It doesn’t stop here.  We mourn the death of any parenteral relative sharing the same surname for ten days. During this period, we don’t touch many things.  Whatever we touch or use, have to be either washed or discarded on the 11^th day and so we restrict our activities in such a way that there is no wastage.  During this period, we don’t touch the pooja room or the cupboard with idols, the pickles and processed food that would be carried forward, the refrigerator that has unaccounted food, the bureau with clothes, the beds, the curtains, the cushions etc.  Where space is available, a makeshift kitchen would be arranged and a simple meal cooked.  We have a family in the neighbourhood, who are as orthodox as our family is and every time there is a “bad news”, we take each other’s help to take out the essentials from the kitchen.  We sleep on the floor without pillows, beds and whatever we use during this period or accidentally touched, has to be washed thoroughly after 10 days.

Though my family is progressive in many aspects, when it comes to cooking and this activity, they prefer to remain orthodox.  Though I completely adhere to cooking and eating norms without any resistance, I hated this activity from the beginning for the following reasons;

           Most of the times, the relative was not known to us.                 

             As children, we were not allowed to go out and play with others or invite anyone home.

          The cleaning activity on the concluding day was very painful.

           After every mourning, my mother used to fall sick.

As a child, I wondered, why except the two families in our colony, no other family mourned the way we did.  I observed, the other houses were neat and tidy, the women presentable, receptive and had a lot of leisure. The reason, orthodoxy and multitasking are mutually exclusive. There is a lot of rigidity in the former. Also, there is no delegation or outsourcing of work involved and its very tough for the women.

Though I always expressed displeasure in adhering to this ritual, I never deviated.

After I started working, this became a little difficult for me to handle.

       I couldn’t attend any functions during that period.

             Couldn’t entertain any guests who wanted to visit home during that period

             Manage with just 2 or 3 sets of clothes for the entire mourning period.  

             Even for a minimalist  like  me, this is difficult.

      In mid 90’s, for two consecutive years, we had continuous mourning sessions.

      Recently, a relative created a group on WhatsApp and brought together hundreds of families (close to 8 to 9 generations). The moment I heard that, fearing we would be getting “bad news” frequently, I told my mother categorically that I will no longer mourn for relatives I have never met and would not follow any of the usual rituals.  She didn’t give me a reply.

      Last week, when I went out and returned home, I had to first go to the bathroom through the rear door, wash my clothes, bags, kerchief, mask etc., have a shower and then enter the house.

      My mother said “after the lock down is revoked and you start attending office, follow this every day. Period.